He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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