Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize