one might say we're banned from that church
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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