Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
