She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize