I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
