Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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