i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
