you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize