just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
