I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
