She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
