Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
