I think im going to throw up on grandma
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
