He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
