I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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