while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
