too bad you live with your parents still
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
