This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
