didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
