I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
