Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
