That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
nutella sex= disaster
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
