How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
