i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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