She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize