this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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