Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So here I am, sexting at work.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
