If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
