Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
