...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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