i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
