she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
