I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
