there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
