I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
