help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
