pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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