if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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