I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize