So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
