The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
