I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
