Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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