I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
