you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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