The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
