Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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