my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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