How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
