its not stalking. its research.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can't turn off my feet"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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