dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
