We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
