That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
