You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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