if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No subtext here. People are naked.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
