I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
