Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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