Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
