do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Randomize