Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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