Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
