i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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