The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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