i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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