I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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